A demonic nun, Sister Blair (Christy Moritz), arrives at the quiet beach resort of Paris Landing with evil plans. She imbues the local man-eating shark with the powers of Satan and gets more bang for her buck than she could have ever imagined when it takes a bite out of a local beauty, who becomes a possessed killer.
Only Father Michael (Bobby Kerecz) stands between the jaws of hell (on both land and sea) and an all-out slaughter of the locals!
Upon procuring a copy of this film, my dear fiance rejoiced that I had such a film in my possession. She had seen a number of YouTube reviews of the movie, and as such had developed a desire to see what all the fuss was about. Normally, I prefer to watch movies that I’m reviewing by myself, so I can fully form my thoughts all on my own. On this occasion, however, I am glad I had someone else to bounce my ideas off of, to riff with as we watched things unfold on the screen.
Because frankly, I don’t know that I could have made it through Shark Exorcist on my own.
I understand that not every movie can be a four-star masterpiece. Not every film can be a knockout or an unparalleled success. Further, everything has a purpose. Some films are meant to make people laugh, allowing for an escape from harsh reality. Others make people cry, tugging at the heartstrings. A number of films are meant for pure entertainment, the “dumb fun” or “popcorn” movies that are pure entertainment, style over substance. Shark Exorcist is the kind of film that is ridiculous, an exercise in “because we can, that’s why” that may make one question the definition of art, as in, “this is art?”
This film, in its 71 minutes of runtime, either goes all the way or doesn’t go at all. When the shark attacks are bloody, they are bloody with a capital B. Other times, they are a nibble at most, and an off-screen kill at least. If a movie this over-the-top is going to go there, shouldn’t it go there? Why are there such moments of restraint for a film featuring demonic nuns, a CGI shark, and even ghost-fucking? That last feature isn’t hyperbole, either, but you’ll have to see the film for yourself, as I refuse to give everything away in a review, regardless of the quality of the film at hand.
Mad at its very core, flaws and all, Shark Exorcist is on its way to becoming “that movie.” The kind of movie, that is, that will be picked apart by film students, laughed at by groups of friends in college dorms, and therefore reveling in infamy for years to come. Sharknado be damned, this is an exercise in batshit madness that, for reasons, demands to be seen.