We’ve made it this far. The "Dragula" finale. Anything can happen, all bets are off, and no holds are barred. Let’s crown a winner!
A series of the Boulets’ dreams show us the would-be death scenes of our final three: Frankie Doom, Vander von Odd, and Melissa Befierce. After these scenes play out, the Boulets realize that choosing their successor, the World’s First Drag Supermonster, will be harder than even they imagined. Their solution? Revive the departed contestants, save for Pinche (according to Pinche’s AMA on Reddit, she has just signed on for a new job and therefore was already booked up), and let them give their two cents on the matter. Red Wedding, step aside, this is the Last Supper!
This pseudo-reunion brings the entire OG "Dragula" family together for one last kiki. Each of the eliminated queens gets to ask one question of the final three, then suggest who should win the competition, and who should be cut. To say that shit gets shaken up is an understatement, so let’s go queen by queen.
Ursula Major is up first. She asks Vander who should win the competition, if not Vander herself. Vander indicates that it should be Melissa. Ursula clearly disagrees, because she suggests that Melissa shouldn’t make the cut.
Xochi Mochi is next, and she interrogates Vander on her punkness. Vander says that clearly, she’s doing something right. She’s won two challenges, and the one extermination challenge that wasn’t “everyone in the pool!” she volunteered for it. When Xochi contests that Melissa should get the chop, she stands up for herself, saying that while she sure came into the competition as the outsider, she has really come into her own as things went on.
Meatball is up next, and she queries Frankie on her growth throughout the competition. Frankie calls herself the only true monster in the game. She also talks about taking every critique that the judges have given her and working on it to become the performer she is now. Meatball isn’t so sure, as she suggests that Frankie should get the cut.
Loris, the maypole for controversy that she has become, asks Vander why she should win over Melissa or Frankie. Vander concedes that she’s relatively new to the game, but that she has killed it from the jump. Being on Dragula has validated Vander in ways that she didn’t think possible. After that moment of clarity, and without hesitation, Loris offers Melissa for the chop. Melissa accuses Loris of stirring the shit pot, and Meatball joins in with the stoning crowd by calling Loris a bitch. Clearly the bitch being dead changed nothing of what the girls thought of her, did it?
Foxie Adjuia is last to give her thoughts, and she asks Frankie who the prettiest bitch at the table is. Frankie simply replies, “Me.” After laughs, eye rolls, and what have you, Foxie suggests that Melissa should get the chop. If it wasn’t for Loris, Melissa would be the new Loris. The Loris is dead, etc etc.
Now the five eliminated queens have to give advice to the final three. Someone got the teapot on?
Ursula to Frankie: Keep going, you deserve it.
Foxie to Melissa: Stay you.
Meatball to Vander: Don’t be afraid to get dirty.
Xochi to Frankie: You’re a monster.
Xochi to Vander: You’re not gritty enough.
Loris to Vander: Remind the fans that it’s OK to be weird.
After the undead go back to their eternal rest, the final extermination challenge is unveiled: create three full looks that embody the tenets of "Dragula": filth, horror, and glamour. Before the final show, we see each finalist in her respective home, working on their costumes. Vander talks about the annoyance over being compared to Sharon Needles, the iconic "RuPaul’s Drag Race" season four champion who is often credited with bringing horror and alternative drag to the forefront of the medium. As much as I adore Sharon Needles, this comparison is a bit frustrating for me as an alternative performer. I don’t want to be the next Sharon Needles, I want to be the first me. So I get it. In this same vein, Vander stands up for Melissa Befierce and goes after the gatekeeping and policing that is rampant in the drag community.
In Melissa’s confessional, she talks about her eyes being opened up to the versatility of drag, and touches on the gatekeeping issues that Vander pointed out in her interview. Ultimately, Melissa could give a fuck what anyone thinks. She made it, the others didn’t. Frankie says what the other two have already alluded to, that winning would validate her and give her that feeling of "bitch, I made it." With that, it’s time for the final floor show.
First is glamour, and hoo boy, is there a lot to unpack. Vander’s look is dominatrix with a twist. She has a picture of a male-presenting chest glued onto hers, a la Madonna, and even has a pup (and I don’t mean the dog kind) on a leash for her runway walk. Frankie’s look is a sparkled to hell jumpsuit that is definitely glamorous, if a bit simple. Melissa’s glamour look is ghostly, ephemeral, and sparkly, which more or less sums up her evolution during her time on the show.
Category is: Filth. Frankie brings us a blood pig complete with slop dish, and is the best kind of sloppy. Vander gives a two-faced look that reads very 80s, and just in case that wasn’t dirty enough, she manages to make herself vomit on the fucking stage. That’s not pea soup or oatmeal and food coloring, that’s legit cookie-tossing right there. Melissa’s look is sacrilegious as a motherfucker, complete with prayer beads that are doubling as anal beads and pages of scripture for pads.
We end the floor show with horror, and we get a little bit of everything. Frankie’s nude illusion slasher evokes classic horror, and the throat slit effect was a great touch to put the horror over the top. Vander appears to have given herself a crown already with a stunning red and white demon look. This look will soon become the stuff of legend… but we’re not done yet. Melissa’s horror look gives us killer ghost realness, complete with a cadaver which she stabs the absolute shit out of.
Before passing the final judgment, the Boulets stress why this competition exists. In recent years, drag has infiltrated popular culture… well, a certain aesthetic. A lot of the oddball, off the wall performers have been superseded by the pageant drag of a certain drag race. From the humble beginning that was the first season, the Boulet Brothers hope to create a platform for all styles of drag.
Vander is noted as delivering from the start. Her performances are a strong point for her, as she comes alive once she hits the stage. For Frankie, the word of the day is “evolution.” She is the most improved of the pack, and her adaptability has served her well throughout the competition. Finally, there is no question anymore that Melissa Befierce is a drag monster, and a damn good one at that.
The scores have been tallied, everything has been taken into consideration, and the World’s First Drag Supermonster is… VANDER VON ODD! Check the scorecards, gurl, cuz they don’t lie. After her crowning, a surprise bloodbath properly welcomes Vander into the wild world of the Boulet Brothers, and closes the book on the first run of the televised "Dragula".
Return to your crypts for now, uglies. Season Two reviews will come very soon, and season three will greet us in August.